Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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