Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
