I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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