Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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