a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
