i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
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