if you like me you must not know who I am
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
