There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
