About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
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Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
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It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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