Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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