She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
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He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
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You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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