how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
