why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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