I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
