Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
