I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
What a dumb baby whore.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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