I need help removing her.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
