ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i will never coherently bang her
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
