But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize