i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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