Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I checked into jail on foursquare
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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