I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
