I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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