ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
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The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
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Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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