Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
