for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
