It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
