I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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