Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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