if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
