I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
