Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
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Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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