morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
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Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
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I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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