Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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