Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
is it fun? or sober?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
