I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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