how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
i've created a new STD.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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