my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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