So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
