Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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