that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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