Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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