I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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