yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
