I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize