There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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