College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
we made out on top of his cat.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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