I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
