Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
