physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
