We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
how does that bad decision feel?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
