She is in my trunk
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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