She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
