I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
