I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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