Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
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he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
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he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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