AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
