guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
