Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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