I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
