My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
