ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
