I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
