her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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