I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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