the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I want to make a zoo with you.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
