Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
