But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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