I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
